EdUKaid

These past two months have been very interesting and active in regards to celebrations. For the first 8 months of my stay in Mikindani I have not been invited to any wedding. Since February I have been to four! It is very intriguing here in Tanzania because each wedding is celebrated differently because there are two very distinct religions Christianity and Islam and also there are various social groups. There are similarities in all of them, for example the women and men are always separate and the women have a traditional slow circle dance. Also, the women make an extraordinary sound with their tongues, like ‘lululululu’ that is meant to be a way to say congratulations to the bride. However, there are also stark differences.

The first wedding was for a women named Sophia who always cooked chapatti for us wazungu (Europeans). She is about 35 years old and her husband is of traditional Swahili origin and of the same age. Her celebration was the night before the wedding and was clearly focused on her. She had huge hair and a bright blue dress with sparkles everywhere. The party was held in a big old Swahili house with the women sitting upstairs while the dancing continued outside. The next day she stayed in her wedding attire and received gifts at her new home of her husband that is fully equipped with a sofa and tv, has electricity, and is made of stone.

The second wedding was completely opposite, maybe due to the fact that we were guests of the groom, Althumani the EdUKaid security guard, and not of the bride. Althumani had rented a daladala and we were all packed inside to travel to another nearby village called Naumbu. The men and us wazungu had all the seats while the Tanzanian women stood, sang, and danced the whole way. When we arrived, the men received new mats to sit while the women stood and danced. Eventually some torn up mats were handed to the women. There were two women that were assigned to entertain the others so they performed small comedy skits in the middle of the circle of dancing women and also made sexual jokes about the couple to be. Then, the men were fed rice and beans while the women did not receive any food at all. Towards the end, Althumani asked if we wanted to see the bride. She was inside her families small hut the whole time of the celebration. Unfortunately when we saw her, it was the end of the party as we knew it. The young girl sat terrified in the dark shaking and crying with her old grandmother. It was obviously a more arranged marriage than the first that we had seen and it shook us to see it take place. We returned without the girl, the celebration continued but we were not in the mood to sing and dance after that.

Even more contrasting was the ‘Kitchen Party’ we were invited to by Lydia who is an immigration officer in Mtwara. We received coloured paper invitations that were neatly typed. We were instructed to wear gold or chocolate colours and also to bring our invitations. We showed up in our proper attire but of course I had forgotten the invitation which threw off the ‘Kitchen Party Committee Members’ who were assigned to coordinate and delegate commands to the invitees. We were sat down and given pieces of paper that were meant to buy us sodas, snacks, and a meal. There was a stage set up in this huge hall that was decorated in gold and chocolate, or brown in layman’s terms. There were decorations like a fake oven, fruits, and vegetables on the stage. The committee was dressed extravagantly with huge hats, gowns, and 5 inch heels. However, the atmosphere seemed very low key and boring, not much energy amongst the guests. After that the bride to be and her best friend showed up ( 2 hours late!) and strolled like models onto the stage. There was a camera guy that was crudely shining head lights on them and the rest of the guests. There was a dj and even a host with a microphone. By the time each of the mamas and grandmas got onto the microphone giving words of advice to Lydia in Swahili, we decided it was time to go. We left our present (unwrapped- very embarrassing in such a coordinated party!) and got out of there!

Just today we attended the best wedding of all because EdUKaid’s very own Halima, that all of us had grown very close to, got married. She just informed all of us two days ago that she is getting married, leaving her child behind, and moving to Mozambique! It was such a shock that many of us got very emotional. Beka her son is always around the house and everyone is very fond of him. To hear that she has to leave him behind made us all feel a sting of pain. She is coming back for him in January because she is not sure which part of Mozambique she is going to or where she will live yet. Also, it was very sad to see her mother and sister crying at the wedding because they are our neighbours and we always picture them as a family living together. The night before the wedding we let Halima plug into our electricity line so that she could have a small light and music for her celebration. We went over to see her and she traditionally was inside the house while everyone else danced outside. She painted our fingers and toes with henna and we all danced with the women inside the hut. We had given her money to buy a wedding gown. She had bought and showed us a very typical western white dress with a veil. Later, we went outside and everyone was shocked to see us shaking our booties in the dance circle! Even the grandmas and aunties were ecstatic! The music went on to the wee hours of the morning and none of us had much sleep. This morning we were the honorary photographers and shot some amazing pictures of Halima in her wedding gown. The women were very excited to get their picture taken and they all were asking for close-ups and admiring their own beauty. Later, in a frenzy that I personally missed, Halima was carried on the back of a friend to her husbands house by the large market in the centre of town. She is expecting full documentation of her wedding and says she will miss us all

Marta Krajnik